He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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