Yo dont text me then not text me
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
My balls are so social today.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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