The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
