Your tits are I can't wait for
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
