We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
