On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
You don't make any sense
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