I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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