At least make sure they are 18
Why
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
