I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I am never drinking with the goths again.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
