i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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