Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize