how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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