see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
