I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
