My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
