girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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