He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
