my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
She's like a pop up book from hell.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Randomize
