You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Can I color on your dick again?
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
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