Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
