I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
