Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
