You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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