All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
