I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
