Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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