I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Randomize
