East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize