i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
