he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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