Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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