Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
