he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
