so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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