I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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