when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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