so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize