All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize