He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
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