You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
