i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
