idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
