do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Swine flu. Run for my life!
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
