So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
