Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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