I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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