you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize