she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
