I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
