i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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