why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Well I just put wine in my tea
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
