so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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