You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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