I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
