Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
