You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
