It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
You're like the curious george of whores
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
