I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
