She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize