You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
