I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
